Battle of the Sexes, round 1

For my first follower, Jessica from Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
I give you the Battle of the Sexes, round 1


Rules for a woman:


1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If we put a man on the moon, we should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander; it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well; they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same; they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men; most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something: suggest he's too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember: a sense of humor does not mean you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.