Battle of the sexes part 2

Men generally feel nagged by their wives...  So the humor skews to that point... 
I married Miss Right.
- I just didn't know her first name was Always.


I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months!
- I don't like to interrupt her.


Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%.
- It's called wedding cake.


Marriage is a three ring circus:
- Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.


In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
- Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


Why do men die before their wives?
- They want to.


A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted."
- The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine."


Why do men break wind more than women?
- Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.


If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
- The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.

This is how they reel us in... 

3 of 100 Inappropriate jokes

Any womens sporting event:


  A female athlete was taking steroids to improve her strength but she started noticing certain side effects. She went to the prescribing doctor and told him about all of the hair she was growing on her chest and she showed him the hair follicles around her breasts. "Well," replied the doctor, "how far down does this go?"
    "Oh, it goes down to my balls," she replied

You would still tap it...

2 of 100 Inappropriate jokes

At a bridal shower:

Why don’t women need a drivers license?..... Because there’s no road between the kitchen and bed room.

Awkward

The down fall of humor

Just like this!

The problem with being funny is that people expect you to always be "ON" The only way to do this is to either memorize about 100 completely inapropraite jokes or learn to improv...

I can help with both but lets start with inappropriate jokes:
At a baby shower:
10 Minutes Of Pleasure
9 Months Of Pain
3 Days In The Hospital
A Baby Without A Name
The Baby Is A Bastard
The Mother Is A Whore
This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber Hadn't Tore!!