The problem with being the "funny one" amongst your friends is that you have to be able to be at least slightly funny on demand. This is not as easy as you might think. The fastest way to get out of an awkward social moment is to drop a joke, the more awkward the moment the less funny the joke has to be. [1] But yuo cant go telling a dead baby joke to your boss and your friends at the pub probably wont like your office supply joke so now you have to memorize enough jokes to get you through any social setting.
Thats what I am here for. To talk you through the theory behind jokes and the basic structure of the joke so you may be able to craft your own joke to suit any situation.

[1]This is called the "Thats what she said" Theory.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Long jokes.

Some times a joke needs more details, when telling this joke is it best done in person with a lot of physical motions to exaggerate the action as it is happening.

A young man was gifted a classic Harley Davidson motor bike from his favorite uncle. When he gave him the keys though the uncle also handed him a tube of Vaseline and told him that if the bike was ever going to get wet he had to put a touch of jelly on the spark plugs to keep them from corroding.

All proud of his new bike he rides it over to his girlfriend’s house. He gets there just in time for supper but she is not happy about it, she has never invited him over for a proper meal and he finds out why. Her family has a rule that who ever talks first during the meal has to clean up. But it gotten a bit out of control and no one has talked during a meal for over 2 years… there are pots and pans, plates and bowls, stacked everywhere in the kitchen and hall way, even spilling out into the dining room!

He goes in and sits down to a nice meal with his girl, her mother and father, but the quiet is very disconcerting for him so he reaches over and takes his girls hand. She glances at him and her father glares at him but no one says anything. Next he leans over and kisses his girl right on the lips, her eyes open in surprise and her father looks very unhappy but again not a word. He realizes that this family is full of nutters and decides to see how crazy they are!

So he reaches over and starts to rub his girls boobs, still nothing. He reaches up her dress and pulls down her panties, lifts her up on the table and starts shagging her right there on the table. The mother and father look away but stills say NOTHING! He goes at her for all he is worth, and she doesn’t let out a peep.

He lets go of her and she lays back on the table, he walks around to the other side of the table and lifts the mom up, she looks shocked but he quickly has her panties down and is going a mile a minute at her as well! Still they say nothing as he works the mom as hard as he did the daughter.

Suddenly he notices out the window a flash of lighting, and fearing rain , drops the mom onto the table next to her daughter and grabs the Vaseline out of his pocket.

“FINE ALLREADY! Ill do the dam dishes” Roared the father!

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