On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"
Little Johnny got sent home one day from school for being bad. Upon getting home he called out for his folks but got no reply.
He heard banging and moaning coming from upstairs and went up and opened his parentâ€™s bedroom door. Johnny was shocked to see his dad giving it to his mom - her knees were by her ears, she was taking it like a porn starlet - screaming all manner of things.
The folks noticed Johnny and froze. He let out a gasp and ran off. Stunned, his parents realized that this could be traumatic on their son and decided the dad should explain sex is something parents do when in love.
The dad looked all over the house and couldn't find Johnny anywhere - then he heard banging and moaning coming from Grandma's room. He opened the door only to find little Johnny railing Grandma, just banging her senseless, pumping away with her legs in the air. The dad yelled, "What the f*ck are you doing?" To which Johnny replied "It's not so much fun when it's your mom eh?"
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.