The problem with being the "funny one" amongst your friends is that you have to be able to be at least slightly funny on demand. This is not as easy as you might think. The fastest way to get out of an awkward social moment is to drop a joke, the more awkward the moment the less funny the joke has to be. [1] But yuo cant go telling a dead baby joke to your boss and your friends at the pub probably wont like your office supply joke so now you have to memorize enough jokes to get you through any social setting.
Thats what I am here for. To talk you through the theory behind jokes and the basic structure of the joke so you may be able to craft your own joke to suit any situation.

[1]This is called the "Thats what she said" Theory.

Monday, June 6, 2011

School ties...

Good jokes should have a common location that people can relate to. Sitcom stands for Situation comedy, and the common location is the "Situation". Schools make for a great situation.

Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

An English teacher often wrote little notes on student essays. She was working late one night, and as the hours passed, her handwriting deteriorated. The next day a student came to her after class with his essay she had corrected. "I can't make out this comment you wrote on my paper." The teacher took the paper, and after squinting at it for a minute, sheepishly replied, "It says that you need to write more legibly!"

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!


  1. The English teacher one was the best.

  2. didnotlaugh maybe cause i have weird sense of humor

  3. hahaha those are pretty funny

  4. I dont get the last one about the mother getting her son back because he embarrased her. but the others were funny. I will remember the man stapling his tie to his chest. haha.

  5. First one's funny. I didn't really like the others though.

  6. The teacher with the stapler joke would fit in perfectly in a slapstick comedy.

  7. If I become a teacher I need to do the staple one. Maybe not get in a full body cast but have something strong under my shirt.

  8. The last one reminded me of my mom..
    She was a substitute at high school two years ago.. that was pretty bad.

    Funny stuff, keep it up!

  9. I work with doctors. That second one is too funny!


Feel free to share a joke with me!